First Contact: Apples and Honey Edition

It’s time for a special Rosh Hashanah edition of First Contact!

Gosh. Who knew the season of atonement and repentance could be so darn sexy? This collection of fine Catholic gentlemen from St. Louis wanted to let me know I didn’t need to spend the Jewish holidays alone.

I shouldn’t be surprised considering the number of country boys in Kentucky who had a burning answer to the timeless question of  WWJD (with his cock), but four messages in one day makes me wonder what sexy superpowers Catholic men think Jewish ladies possess. I’m a little amazed none of them asked me to blow his shofar. After all, it’s well known we do it in public, while people watch.  Heck, if you’re far from home, you can even watch someone blow it over the internet. Ahem. L’Shana Tova!

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i read u get super high on highhollidaze why u gotta be all god say this is mine and no share Jesus came to spread loveand shit u share makes u better so gimmie some and prove jews ain’t all greedy bitches

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Is The Lashawna Tova the Jewish Kama Sutra?

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yo’mama u sho m3 how freaky jewses get 4 ho ho holiday bet u make eastr bunny blush

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i got sumthin sweet fer u to dip in ur honeypot u gonna say a prayer sing hallelula baby jesus i come convert when u see it better than apples or stupid rasin bread how that even a thing?????? i got ur swseet new year rite here cum likk honey off an make a wish

Tags: Adventures in Dating, first contact, holidays, Jewish, Rosh Hashanah