Why waste your last glorious day in the paradise that is our sick and hedonistic society? You only have until Thursday, June 12 to sleep with your high school teacher, bungee jump off the Grand Canyon, and hijack a Virgin Galactic plane. After that, a nuclear fireball will carry the righteous into heaven.
The rest of us will beÂ Left Behind(TM) toÂ hunt radioactive cockroaches for food when not fighting off the six foot mutant squirrels determined to stuff the last remnants of humanity inside hollowed tree trunks and decaying chimneys. That’s before the civil war with the laser equipped land sharks. Note to self: stock up on harpoons and walnuts Wednesday night. Maybe I can barter for a few more months of precious life.