Posts Tagged ‘ 22 First Dates ’

It’s actually quite rare for me to be stood up, but it happened twice in as many weeks. One of the guys, who lives less than a mile away, actually asked if we could could Skype instead. On Sunday, I did what many of us do when we’re feeling lonely and perhaps a little desperte – I went slumming on Craigslist. I’ve really got to cut that out. Any time I go slumming there half a dozen people I know in real life wave hi. “Aww. Feeling lonely, Chris-Rachael?” they say. “Wait!” I protest. “These ads are supposed to be…

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I gnawed on my swizzle stick, honestly wondering how it was possible for any man to be this boring. “…which is why I never hooked my X-Box up to the internet. Games are hard enough without other people talking in my ear, distracting me…” Surely, hidden somewhere deep down, he had a crazy side just waiting to get out. “…lived here all my life. Went to Xavier for high school, then U of L. I keep meaning to visit other places, but the furthest I’ve been is Cincinnati…” C’mon, surely you have an ambition? A quirky hobby? Interesting friends? “…spend…

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This week’s ill fated internet date du jour was apparently sponsored by The Guild. To our left, a kid with leg braces and full cover earphones was watching YouTube clips of a man beating the hell out of someone. To our right, a seminary student with books including “Desire and Deciet” atop his bible played World of Warcraft as a sexy female elf. I sat between them listening to a passionate sports fan talk about his career in athletic supplies. I knew within five minutes this wasn’t going anywhere. For one thing, the last sporting event I saw was a…

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  Lest you good people think I’ve somehow managed to find the worst losers on the internet, let’s give a little equal opportunity time to the other side. Sometimes I’m the scary date. I sent a snarky message to a guy with an amusingly sarcastic profile. A few exchanges passed over a couple of weeks. Then one night, we were apparently both in front of our computers at the same time and he proceeded to crack me the heck up in a rapid fire series of exchanges. I am a sucker for a good sense of humor. After an hour…

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Gentlemen, I can not emphasize strongly enough how little you should talk about your penis when meeting someone for the first time. I know it’s your favorite toy. You want to share it with the whole world. Try to contain your excitement – or, in this case your disappointment. Wait – I’m getting ahead of myself. I met The Fishmonger on yet another of those early dates back when I didn’t realize an extreme facial close-up was a clever technique for hiding extra chins. A bearded brunette with a few tattoos, a fondness for science fiction, and an interest in…

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When we last left our intrepid heroine, she’d decided to bravely stick her toe back into the dating pool despite the dead bunny floating under the tarp. This time, I thought I’d try getting to know guys online before meeting in person. That’s the point of a dating site’s chat feature, right? I can judge his ability to write, Google the credibility of what he has to say, and if I’m very lucky, perhaps even end up amused enough to want to meet in person. It’s a great theory. In reality, here’s an actual dating site chat transcript: HIM: how…

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