Posts Tagged ‘ Adventures in Dating ’

First Contact: Apples and Honey Edition

September 29, 2011
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First Contact: Apples and Honey Edition

It’s time for a special Rosh Hashanah edition of First Contact! Gosh. Who knew the season of atonement and repentance could be so darn sexy? This collection of fine Catholic gentlemen from St. Louis wanted to let me know I didn’t need to spend the Jewish holidays alone. I shouldn’t be surprised considering the number of country boys in Kentucky who had a burning answer to the timeless question of  WWJD (with his cock), but four messages in one day makes me wonder what sexy superpowers Catholic men think Jewish ladies possess. I’m a little amazed none of them asked…

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Gizmodo Gotcha

August 31, 2011
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Magic? The Gathering of Site Traffic

I was working on my next 22 First Dates blog when my inbox exploded with frantic messages asking if I’d seen The Gawker Post. They warned. They predicted. They worried. This chick will make you look crazy. She’ll drive all the good geeks away from dating sites. She’s the kind of nut who wants to create a freakish national geek registry only Sarah Palin could love. Oh, my. That’s pretty dire consequences for a mostly unknown site. They’re wrong, of course. Gizmodo’s “My Brief OK Cupid Affair with a World Champion Magic the Gathering Player” is absolutely brilliant viral marketing.…

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22 First Dates: The Salesman

August 5, 2011
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Tani-01

After people’s reactions to Officer Creepy I wanted to offer you an example of a perfectly harmless but utterly doomed date. Neither of us was remotely attracted to the other, but by god we were each determined to win at dating. I normally offered guys their choice of ritual C Class Beverage: Coffee or Cocktails. Every now and then a guy said he’d rather meet for dinner. On those occasions I took them to Dragon King’s Daughter, my favorite fusion sushi restaurant in Louisville. The waitresses knew me by name. Whenever my dates went to the bathroom, they’d post one…

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MicroCenter PC Proves Real Men Don’t Know How to Get Laid

August 3, 2011
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4919544

I’m the kind of girl who believes in protection. That’s why I shelled out $60 for a shiny new UPS (not the kind in brown shorts. They won’t accept tips to make special deliveries inside my apartment.) When I brought it up to the counter at MicroCenter PC, two guys in their early 20’s abruptly stopped their animated discussion. They glared playful daggers at one another while my cashier tried to sell me an extended warranty on what is essentially a surge suppressor with a battery. I needed to derail him from his script. “You two were pretty passionate here.…

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22 First Dates: Officer Creepy

July 19, 2011
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Imagine him with an evil goatee and another 60 pounds

Two years and two states later, I’m still a little hesitant about posting this date.  Wait, I’m getting ahead of myself. I don’t understand why anyone posts decade old profile photos. I’m a curvy girl. If a guy isn’t into that, I’d much rather he politely ignore my first contact email than do a disgusted double take when he first sees me. Gentlemen, it doesn’t matter how good you looked ten years ago when you had more hair and less belly. If your photo is so out of date a woman can’t recognize you, I promise there is no hope…

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First Contact: Poly

July 11, 2011
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I bought extra insulation so I could hunker down for the impending flame war. I get a lot of messages from poly men. Some of them are open, some of them are “discrete,” some of them want to lecture me at great length. All of them ignore the fact that I explicitly state in my dating profiles that I am NOT interested in a poly relationship. This kind of onslaught is exactly the kind of thing that gives poly relationships a bad reputation. Well, that and the fact that of the countless poly units I’ve seen over the years I…

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22 First Dates: The Catholic

July 8, 2011
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Imagine this with more candles and imaginary friends

“It’s really weird meeting someone who hasn’t accepted Jesus Christ, but at least you’ve read Lord of the Rings.” Why do the pretty ones have to be crazy? I like a guy built like a sack of hangars. This sexy specimen was over six feet of lanky sinew, hard angles and flowing black hair. He looked like the contortionist warmup act at a burlesque show. “Before I came out to meet you, I caught up on The Guild and lit a couple candles with Ralph. You know, to calm my nerves and give me some insight into the female mind.”…

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