Posts Tagged ‘ Grocery School ’

Fakin’ Bacon

November 14, 2008
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This is the kind of thing I get in my email every day. Bacon lampshades. Bacon bras. Bacon Tiaras. I’m not complaining, mind you. Once a month, I put out a Grocery School Friday Five extolling the weirdness that is America’s freakish love affair with a disgusting fatty meat product. I think my friends get an extra kick out of seeing an observant Jew fake it by reusing the words, “crispy,” “salty,” and “delicious” in every description. I have so darn many bacon links I’m probably putting together a Bacon Advent Calendar. Well, as soon as I find out how…

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Zombie Chow: Five undead recipes that begin with a burial

October 10, 2008
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Zombie Chow: Five undead recipes that begin with a burial

You know you’re into some freaky food when the recipes require a shovel, a hole, and invoke the words “putrefy” and “exhume.” Check out five delicacies that only a zombie could love.

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Grocery School’s Friday Five: Funky Toasters

October 3, 2008
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Welcome to five exciting new ways to make bread golden brown and delicious.

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Grocery School: Cannibalistic Garlic

October 1, 2008
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  You never knew roasting garlic and eating human flesh had so much in common.

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Grocery School’s WTF Monday: Kosher Bacon Salt?

September 29, 2008
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Welcome to a new WTF Monday: Kosher Vegetarian Bacon Salt. It boggles my mind.

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Grocery School’s Friday Five: Bacon-o-licious Ice Cream and Cake

September 26, 2008
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Grocery School’s Friday Five: Bacon-o-licious Ice Cream and Cake

This week, the Friday Five expanded to an amazing Friday Fifteen. That’s right. You can’t contain this much bacon flavored ice cream and cake! So, all you treif gnoshing crazies – what’s the appeal? I mean, REALLY. Does bacon have a secret vitamin that Jews, Muslims, Hindus, and Vegetarians acquire from an ancient combination of falafel, dates, and mangoes? Watching from the outside, I’m starting to think you’re incapable of digestion without an infusion of bacon in your belly.

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Friday Five

June 27, 2008
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Today’s Grocery School Friday Five is all about the seductive allure of wearable bacon. Go now. Behold the wonder. Being Jewish, I thought bacon was a smelly, fatty, thin sliced meat. I had NO IDEA of its cult status among hipsters. Really, people? Bacon? Alrighty then. I’ll stoke your lust, you single, well paid advertising darlings! Expect to see more bacony goodness in the future. Bacon Baked Goods. Bacon home decorations. Bacon morphed into forms you never expected. I’m repulsed, yet so fascinated I can’t look away. Tonight, dinner’s all vegetarian.

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Welcome to Grocery School!

June 18, 2008
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Guess who has a paid daily writing gig!  I’m not going to pretend you’ll find an epic masterpiece of brilliant food writing, but stop by Grocery School and read my snarky take on basic foods and appliances. My text posts are there to support the nicely produced videos posted to the site 2 – 3 times a week.  Come for the informative videos on asparagus, chicken, and pineapple. Stay for my John Hurt, Zombie, and Kim Harrison references. Bookmark it, RSS it, do whatever it takes to remind yourself to stop by periodically. Comments are enabled and ready for your snarky replies. In the next couple weeks, I…

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